Bowling Philosophy-March 2010

"Retro Diary: 2009 GoRVing Match Play Championship"

by Tommy Scherrer

As the 2009-10 PBA season returns for its last 3 events, I felt it was time to dust off the archives from last year's 2009 GoRVing Match Play Championship, featuring Chris Barnes and Walter Ray Williams Jr. I did for two reasons: 1) after searching for an actual job for 3 months, I finally landed a supervisory position with Wal-Mart and 2) I am attempting to get to this week's tournament to provide more insight into my entries. Currently, I am still waiting on the Worcester Telegram & Gazette for a possible credential to cover the tournament in Norwich, CT. Longshot odds? Sure, but it was worth a shot. Without further ado, let's go to the wayback machine with footnotes!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Go RVing Match Play Championship

Barnes....Williams...it's the PBA on ESPN (cue the John Tesh music). Wait, what? That was the NBA on NBC? Sorry, folks.


12:55 PM: Quick cutaway from Baseball Tonight to Chris Barnes throwing a practice shot. Looked like he struck, he fist pumped. Nothing like a practice shot and a fist pump.(1)

12:57: Old School PBA clip with Tommy Jones in his Buddy Holly glasses...and he must have stopped at Denny's before the video shoot. Damn, Thomas.

1:00: Dicky V!!! It's Awesome baby...with a capital A!

1:01: Rob Stone giving us the rundown and then Randy Pedersen chimes in with his observation: he feels like Barnes has a huge advantage with the multiple patterns and the fact that he has rolled to 4 straight Extreme Swing telecasts. Quick cut to last night's action between Williams and Chris Loschetter then Barnes and Mike Wolfe. The exhibition those two put on last night was amazing. Barnes shot 824 for 3 games on two different patterns.(2)

1:04: WRW has got a lime green MoRich shirt with what appears to be polka-dots, Barnes is in his usual Lance Armstrong biker shirt.(3) Stone misspeaks by saying that this is the 4th time these two have bowled for a title. This is actually only the second time they have bowled on TV for a title and the 4th time, period.

1:08: I always feel like...somebody's WATCHIN MEEEEE! Geico: so easy, a wad of money and googly eyes can do it.

1:09: The chess match on the lanes...the Chameleon on the left, Cheetah on the right. Both players plan to play up the rail. Walter does just that: RED BALL UP 5!!!(4)

1:11: Barnes with a can opener strike to start, then dribbles, shoots, and scores on the left lane.

1:12: Hey, look. Barnes pulled a shot...what a shocker that was. Big 4 and the first open of the match.

1:14: Walter Ray....HAMBONE.(5) Or an opening 4 bagger (well said, Rob Stone). Then he packs another strike for 5 in a row.

1:16: Barnes strikes on the left lane with the Resurgence. Amazing how many miles that ball still has on it. Arguably the ball that saved Columbia 300. My girlfriend and I are discussing the bowling ball, saying how that ball tore up oil patterns in college (and still does as she bowls for Vanderbilt, as most of you know), but how she never could get a good feel for it.

1:20: Walter Ray with a humbling career review in comparison to Earl Anthony saying that was Earl did was much more impressive as he now has 7 in a row.

1:21: Barnes spares then strikes and flat out cannot hang with Williams if the outside is playing that well.(6) As Williams trips the 4 pin for 8 in a row. Crowd isn't even jacked up.

1:22: Now 9 in a row...you almost had a feeling something like this might happen today with these two and the friction zone to the right.

1:24: Barnes is Noble sign...very creative. Barnes changes balls again, really trying to max out his look on the lanes. Shoots 241. Now it is Walter...with a 7 pin...ouch. Suddenly, we have a match. Just like that. AND HE MISSED A SINGLE PIN SPARE!!! Incredible. The entire match changed. Barnes is only down 26 after one game when it looked like he'd be dead.

1:29: Nice section on youth bowling. One of the major criticisms of bowling in the last 5-10 years has been the death of junior bowling and how it has killed the adult leagues now. Tons of scholarships??? Don't think so...(7)

1:31 Randy talks to Barnes and WRW in between games. A nice evaluation...brain fart says Williams on the whiffed 7 pin.(8)

1:35: Lumber Liquidators...title sponsor of the PBA. Yep, I'm sold.

1:37: Barnes to start Game 2 and strikes. Barnes saw the light and is looking to explode through it. Walter on Cheetah makes a ball change and goes 2-8...something doesn't look right with him.

1:39: uh oh...uh oh...Barnes has found both lanes it would seem. He looks absolutely locked in.

1:40: Ball change for Deadeye...4-9. Misses both pins and then goes big 4 on the Chameleon. This is a fold worthy of the New York Mets bullpen...can't you just see K-Rod blowing out a vocal chord due to his excessive celebrating and being out for two months?(9) But I digress...

1:42: And Barnes is playing the Phillies...shoot me now. Now Barnes has 5 in a row, he looks absolutely locked in. Did I already say that? Sorry, that was a "Memento" moment, except I did not need to tattoo myself with notes.(10)

1:43: Walter Ray with the Flomax weekly update...and again goes high during the quick segment. He is having weak stream issues right now.

1:45: ESPN commercial for fantasy baseball with Alyssa Milano: the only child star that did not have a true falling out in her career in the last 25 years. Think about it very carefully and see if you can't figure out one more who accomplished that goal.

1:48: We return to Barnes now leading in the match suddenly...wow, just opened up the rack for 6 in a row. He is remarkable when he's right, now he has 7 in a row. One is thinking Barnes has started to run away and its only the middle of the match.

1:51: Now Barnes has 9 in a row...sensational. Walter Ray finally doubles in the match. I hate to say this about Williams but he has to try and alter Barnes' look instead of trying to run after him. Could he maybe move left and stay ahead of him?(11)

1:52: Barnes takes a re-rack.(12) Foolish of him but we'll see if it works. And yes, an SPLIT! WE still have a match! Barnes gives away roughly 30 pins back and it is now a 48 pin match after two games. That is easily doable for Deadeye to recover from.

1:56: Michelle: "I want to say this has lived up to the hype...but not entirely in a good way."
Me: "It is the beauty and the curse of these two."
Michelle: "It is."

What we mean by that is that we expect these two players to give us a thrill in good ways but they keep handing each other chances instead of just outbowling each other.

1:59: Walter Ray with Randy: he sounds boring and uncomfortable with what is going on. Barnes with Randy: he sounds relaxed and certain of his next move but yet also doesn't give you this sense of I am going to destroy Walter Ray...he stands no chance, don't miss old guy or you will lose.(13)

2:04: They are going commercial free for the last match. Barnes has a healthy lead but we have seen him gag away healthier leads with fewer frames. Williams promptly starts with a strike. Barnes moves laterally and goes 4 pin. Back to Chameleon...bird dogs the 10 pin! OUCH!!!

2:08: Walter gets over amped and barely leaves the 10 pin. That can be his only miss of the match. Then Barnes on Cheetah goes plack 10. Now what is the move for CB on what is easily the tougher of the two lanes, amazingly, the Cheetah?

2:10: Williams makes a ball change...and strikes. WOW. Then nails on the Chameleon and strikes...look out Chris.(14)

2:13: Barnes hasn't missed on Chameleon all day by the way. The lane he is finishing on. Williams goes 4 pin on the left lane. Where Barnes has created right, he has erased Walter's left.

2:15: Barnes' first non strike on the left lane. Now it is a 39 pin lead for Barnes. Williams still can't strike on the left lane. Barnes starts worrying about his carry. I ask you why that even came up in his mind, but that would make too much sense. It was the Chris Norry moment.(15)

2:17: Barnes again makes a tight shot (spinchter tightening...). Leaves the 2-4-5 and makes it. Still leading...one more mark...BIRD DOGS IT FOR THE WINNA!

2:18: Barnes wins and for the first time in his career wins back-to-back events, capping off one of the greatest runs in bowling history. As for Walter Ray, he fought hard but that missed 7 pin truly was the downfall of his day. He actually won two of the three games but lost total wood by 29. 722-693, a 29 pin win for Barnes and his 12th title.

2:23: Randy and Walter Ray again after the match. Gracious as a champion, he said that Chris bowled better than he did. But his interview was telling: his game is predicated around playing straight and being accurate but the power players really force him to slow his ball speed down and rely on carry as much as his ability to throw it firm and make the pins dance.(16)

2:28: Barnes and Pedersen interview after the last commercial break. You can tell how great his mind is when he just bowls and lets his talent take over.(17) He gambled right on the lanes and he took away WRW's hold left. He is still alive to repeat as Player of the Year but he will need to cap off this amazing run of bowling.

1. There is also nothing like Barnes striking in a meaningless moment, you know, when it doesn't count as much. Alas.
2. This wasn't even Barnes' finest performance during last year's swing of extreme bowling. Go back to his performance in the Plastic Ball Championship where Barnes averaged over 257 in match play alone. Astounding.
3. I did not do my research admittedly, Walter Ray's shirt was comprised of horseshoes and bowling balls. As for Barnes, he was wearing that red/maroon shirt that made you think he was trying to emulate Tiger Woods on Sunday. No truth to the rumor that Barnes emulated Woods' off the course activities as well.
4. Walter has recently added to his arsenal now: BLUE BALL UP 5!!!
5. Everyone and their mother seems to outright detest Rob Stone for using the Hambone as a reference for a 4 bagger. I don't, didn't and never will for one simple reason: in the 2007-08 season, two things got over with fans: Rhino Page's awesome rookie season and the Hambone. It elicited more conversation than anything else in bowling that season, fans brought signs, chanted it during shots...you mean like actual fan interaction? Really...who woulda thunk it?
6. I kind of sort of forgot that Barnes still had 2+ games and the with oil transition and his higher rev rate, he would force WRW to alter his gameplan. When he tripped the 4 pin, it was already beginning. No one noticed it at that point.
7. For all bowling fans, read Gary Beck's white paper, "20/23 Vision" for a quick synopsis on how junior bowling has declined. This despite what industry insiders have been saying that bowling continues to grow in popularity. It is, but from a recreational standpoint.
8. Revisionist history is one thing, but Walter Ray sounded defeated after missing the 7 pin. Another note to the end of the first game: when Walter Ray missed the 7 pin, the whole building went completely silent. Almost as if they had seen a ghost or something. It was so shocking that when they went to break, they try to coerce applause out of the crowd but nobody made a sound. Like Norwich had become a mute colony.
9. K-Rod might have been the only Met in the 2009 season not to get injured. The list: Carlos Delgado (hip), Jose Reyes (calf/hamstring), John Maine (shoulder), JJ Putz (elbow), Luis Castillo (ankle), Ollie Perez (knee/head), Johan Santana (elbow), Carlos Beltran (knee), David Wright (concussion), Ryan Church (legs), Alex Cora (thumbs), Jeff Francouer (thumb). You get the idea...the Mets were a MASH unit in 2009. Now Beltran had knee surgery, Reyes has a thyroid issue, and K-Rod has pinkeye to start Spring Training.
10. Rent the movie...trust me, you'll love it.
11. I had a slight moment of clarity after I wrote this. I just questioned the 2nd best bowling in PBA history, the best right hander in PBA history, a man who has won 47 titles and 8 majors and has made 4 million bucks in his career and can still win a record 7th Player of the Year at age fifty?!? Forgive me, I really didn't know what I was on at that time.
12. I remember what Michelle said to me when he took the re-rack: "he's gunna choke on this shot". Sometimes, you don't question Valedictorians and four time All-Americans who go to Vanderbilt.
13. Post-editing mistake: I should have probably quoted that last line for Barnes saying that he was going to rip Walter Ray to shreds in the last game. As for Walter Ray...yeah, his speech was so enthusiastic I needed a hose to cool myself down. Like Bizzaro Lou Holtz giving me a pep talk/speech before a big game. It did not inspire confidence.
14. Randy said "uh-oh...", I said look out, Michelle said, "oh, great". Michelle, for future reference thinks Walter Ray is terrible for bowling.
15. Lynda Barnes' (Chris' wife) maiden name was Norry. I like to joke often that Chris should have taken Lynda's name because she was the more dominant bowler of the two. Safe to say Chris Barnes will not be inviting me to any JDRF charity events soon, for which I would love to contribute to. I feel that Type I diabetes is no laughing matter for children and they should be allowed to have some semblance of a normal childhood.
    
16. Walter Ray also said at the end of the interview he would not be cutting his throat after this telecast. Yes fans, he actually said this. You wonder why I keep saying that Walter Ray, as great as he is, needs to go away? You just cannot say such a remark like that with people listening.
    
17. Barnes would go on to finish 3rd in the US Open a few weeks later with what can only be described as only the most infamous solid 8 in bowling history against Mike Scroggins. Yes, much more infamous than Pedersen's solid 8 in the 1995 TPC. In retrospect (after all this is a retro version), this was as good as I've even seen a bowler bowl for 6 weeks maybe EVER. Barnes was just so good at showing off all of his talents, while embracing every format the PBA could throw at him for almost two months and he responded every time. He was a solid 8 away from winning another US Open and back-to-back POY. He was outright sensational at this time last year.