Bowling Philosophy-June 2011

PBA Tour-"Who's Really the Bitch?"
by Thomas Scherrer

     If one is an accident, then two is a trend.

     If you totally understand bowling, you know it is a true contest between yourself and the pins.  One a living organism which some have the capacity to throw a bowling ball over 20 miles an hour and make it rotate up to 500 times a minute, all with dizzying and alarming accuracy.  The other, an in-adamant object, roughly 3 and a half pounds, formed in wood and surrounded by plastic some 60 feet away from the foul line.  It is a challenge enough to try and strike with other mitigating factors such as oil depletion, oil carrydown, differences in bowling styles, and outward distractions.  Yes, noise...and lots of it.  From the pins crashing to the sound of the machines whirring, noise is everywhere.  So naturally, when BottleGate II went viral with Sean Rash "bitching" out Jason Belmonte for crinkling his water bottle-again-on national television, the reaction was instantaneous.  We don't really know if was pure coincidence or timely gamesmanship (should Rash really care?  Plus I bowled with him in college-he made some pretty obnoxious screams and yells while in competition, so noise should not be a factor in his concentration), strategy or bad timing, or whatever ebony and ivory comparisons you choose to make.  

     But that isn't what I am writing about when I mean "one's an accident-two's a trend".  No, this is in reference to the Professional Bowlers' Association, the PBA, the supposed caretakers for the sport of professional bowling not only making this a) a selling point to drive audience viewership and b) build up the Rash-Belmonte "bitch" comments to a seemingly OK form of professionalism.  Did I watch it?  Of course I did.  Makes me shallow and pathetic?  Of course it does.  You wanna know why?  Because I bought into it.  I was literally forced into buying into it.  And yes, I hate myself for even clicking on it.  I became a prisoner to the moment of watching something that is rather vulgar and depressing to watch.  So yes, if you ask me what the real problem was, the real issue was how the PBA featured this as generating mainstream attention.

     If you care even a little bit about bowling, this should disturb you that the actual talent of both Belmonte and Rash were both compromised by this whole incident.  And that the PBA, pba.com, and bowling in general let this happen is what is more damning.  If you were professional bowling, wouldn't you elect to showcase these players in a more glorious light than this?  If you ever expect to generate a more casual fan base and keep your loyal fans in place, shouldn't you choose to show their creative talents on the lane instead of what they say or do off the lanes of after they bowl?  It personifies a cry for help: a desperate plea for someone to listen to bowling, somebody please listen to us!!!  We can't do it the old-fashioned way, we need to know that you all still care...

     I still care, just not about this.  Turns out, bowling fans might as well have been the "bitch"...again.

 For all bowling fans with a love and knowledge for the game, this IS Bowling Philosophy.  Namaste.