Bowling Philosophy-October 2010

"The Czar Rules: Article II"

by Thomas Scherrer

In the past few weeks, the PBA has a) filled up its WSOB roster and b) made a highly asinine Dick Weber Playoffs. So glad to see that they took some of my advice about what I felt should be a reasonable PBA Playoff system back in July.

OK, so they actually didn't use anything I had suggested and I literally came up with something in the course of a week while doing other things like practicing, working, and making dinners while the future Dr. Peloquin was working 10 hour shifts at the pharmacy. Unlike PBA bigwigs who pretty much had all summer to come up with something worth watching at the end of the year to determine a more valid, clear, and concise PBA Player of the Year and they came up with something that appeared as if one of Parker Bohn III's kids came up with while drawing in the nursery. Actually, knowing the Bohn kids, they could have come up with something about a thousand percent better than the PBA came up with. It draws two serious red flags for me in a truly arcane-looking 2010-11 PBA season.

Red Flag #1: The tour season has over 20 telecasts on ESPN programming, but only 11 events. Wasn't this version of the PBA Tour supposed to offer more tournaments and better, more consistent prize funds? They are throwing more into the major telecasts which is a great sign of things to come, but are they totally mailing in the rest of the season? This is as big a stamp-licking, 41 cent, LeBron James in Cleveland mail in season as you will ever see in professional sports. It has got me outright worried that the PBA execs hope that they generate enough dramatic coverage with the majors that casual and hardcore fans alike will be crazy for more bowling. It is possible, but risky in a time where bowling must be cautious about risk.

Red Flag #2: Does the PBA even care about attempting to identify the best player in the sport as opposed to exposing all of its talent at once and hoping someone "gets over"? I know on the surface, this doesn't sound all too bad, however bowling truly needs a legitimate top dog. Right now, that parity of talent in bowling is truly alarming because we aren't sure if any player can handle the torch of professional bowling for the next decade. It could be Bill O'Neill, it could be Rhino Page, it could be Jason Belmonte, or Sean Rash, or Mike Fagan, or someone yet to come along. The truth is that I could not say will...I said could and could only. Again, with little safety net, that is a dangerous situation to be in.
The other hope perhaps is that with all the exposure of its players, someone comes along and draws heat for the sport. Someone who fans do not like or dislike strongly, almost acting in pro wrestling terms, "turning heel" on the crowd. Most fans have their favorite and their least favorite players and they hope that fewer telecasts featuring more players could offer more polarizing, differentiating views by fans. It has a shot to work, but the PBA will need someone on the lanes become that.

Back to the Czar rules and Article II for the month of October. Ah, October...leaves browning and falling, cool weather, windy, apple picking, pumpkin carving, wood chopping, and every kids favorite holiday: Halloween. Everyone dressing up in ghastly or provocative clothing, basically showing off their ego/superego/Id side for one night. Doing makeup, adding appendages, removing articles of clothing that on pretty much every night except Halloween could land you a night in your local jail for indecency, Halloween is a rule-breaking night in terms of dress codes...

Article II: Establishing a Dress Code
...Don't worry, so is bowling, and that, my friends is what they call CLOSURE. On a scale of 1 to 10 for importance in dress codes in bowling should rank out to be 783. This is depressing to see, and should be altered.

The Disease: For two years, I was a bowling center supervisor before my "sabbatical" and I was anywhere from appalled to Tyson Zone appalled at how people dressed for a league: sweats, cut off shirts, tanks/wife-beaters, backwards hats, stained t-shirts...translation: sloppy, goodness gracious, make the madness stop! Look, I totally understand the need for bowling in comfortable clothing and perhaps some people have a lucky bowling shirt they like to wear while pitching the pebble. I get that and respect that-hey, we are all creatures of habit, some of us even have routines or superstitions. Hell, Ryan Shafer has a thousand superstitions on tour. He wears his clothes in a certain order, he only picks up the bowling ball with his left hand (I highly advise picking a ball up with both hands for safety purposes but I won't be making a Czar Rule for that so let's just move on), and only uses bowling balls with either a 5 or an 8 in the serial number.

However, Mr. Shafer is a 4 time PBA champion, a millionaire, shot a 300 on TV, 1987 Rookie of the Year, and the 2008-09 Steve Nagy Sportsmanship winner....oh, he also dresses nice!!! Whew...yes, I know he is a pro but we all should seek to amend our wardrobe while we bowl.

The Solution: a reasonable dress code first and foremost for all league bowlers. For men, it should be a collared shirt and a nice pair of jeans at worst and for women, a nice shirt and slacks or pants. I am not advocating for everyone to come walking into their local bowling alley dressing up like Brian Voss in $400 pants, just show some pride in the sport you are actively participating in. If you think I am being an uptight pantywaist on this (for which I thank you, I'll be dressed up each time I bowl competitively), I make the reference to playing 9 holes on a municipal golf course as opposed to mini-golfing. The muni course will make you wear a polo shirt or crew neck shirt and pants, relaxing a bit on the type of pants or shorts. Mini-golf is easily more liberal, so much so that now you see people trying to put the golf ball into the windmill wearing flip-flops. Those wouldn't even be acceptable if you were playing every shot out a bunker at the muni course. And let's be honest, how could anyone chip out of the sand wearing rubber thongs on their feet? We've all been to the beach, you know how hard it is to walk in the sand with no ankle support. You either buck up and go barefoot despite the searing heat of the sand, or you bring sneakers for more traction. No more sprained ankles for me on sand, thank you.

If bowling is to seek acceptance more culturally, try to appease not to the lowest common denominator but to the greatest common factor. That factor being having people of good manners, good taste, and proper attire, along with a biding respect for the game. I am not asking for opera attire or what you'd wear to your quarterly meeting, but to be more appreciative of bowling and to give it some decency. It feels like a no doubt change to me. One more note of interest: for some reason, bad clothing or people walking into a bowling center looking like slobs further enhances the notion that bowling is primal or guttural or devoid of class. The czar has spoken for this rule...people, dress more appropriately!

Sports in General

New York Minute
by Thomas Scherrer

It's a shame to some extent that we cannot look inside ourselves and see just how fickle we are as sports fans. We want our teams to be everything good-successful, classy, respectful, and professional-and not have any warts to show the sporting world. However, no organizations are perfect, no man unblemished. No companies without the proverbial skeleton in the closet...they just are present; it is all a matter of how pronounced things are. When you work, live, and play in the city of New York however, the slightest of pimples can turn into Mount Everest. Sadly, hammers come down fast, newspapers run to sensationalism, and in the cutthroat world of high society, he who finds it first wins.

On Friday, a "source" unofficially officially ended the Jerry Manuel-Omar Minaya era for the New York Mets, and this goes without stating the obvious, but it was an era that many thought would not last much longer than this season when the 2010 MLB season started. This "source" was SI.com/SNY/WFAN baseball insider, Jon Heyman, a man who usually gets his stories right on target. Not always 100% accurate, but again, to err is to be human. This "report" was a "done deal" that Manuel and Minaya will not be retained in their current roles following the conclusion of this weekend's season finale in New York.

Not surprisingly, Heyman's "report" was piled on by the copious and carnivorous New York media saying that it was a done deal that both men would be gone after this season. First of all, the mere fact that Heyman's "source" is anonymous says all you need to know about: someone within the organization has a motive. Secondly, the mere fact that there are still 3 games left in this Met season and that there are two men whose jobs are not twisting in the wind, but livelihoods. At the genesis of Manuel's presser Friday afternoon, he reiterated that he was not given any indication of his future and that for now he is the manager. The same can probably be said for Minaya. Finally, media's enjoyment with all this. I am a native New Yorker, through and through. I now live in New England where the sensationalism is equally as high and I just cannot stand this anymore.

I consider myself a media type person: I have two blogs, a radio show that I volunteer for, I read a ton of information about all things. I like to be in the know of course. When you are not on the cutting edge, you are falling behind-hence the media's pile on approach after Heyman's story came out. You stay classy....New York Media. Editors, talking heads, tired acts like Joe Benigno speaking irrationally to a large, intense, and perceived smart fanbase. New York fans are street smart fans: they can smell a fake from a bridge away and that what they know best.

The whole circus is in town and the ringmaster (in this case Heyman) can be anyone in the media...the clowns (other members of the media) then come in from inside their Volkswagen and treat the ringmaster like his word is gospel and search to find more ways to pile on to the story. Instead of possibly holding judgement until after the season ended or maybe writing some as logical as Wait, this is unfair to Manuel and Minaya, they still have a job to do this season. Let's wait until after the season ends to speculate.

I do have an answer for this: anyone who risked writing that risks being unread or worse, laughed at. Anyone who read it wouldn't care. The Mets were another big market, overpaid disappointment this season, finishing under .500 again. Let's not ignore some facts: this was another injury-riddled season but there are no excuses for that most would argue. Fine. How about this fact? Jerry Manuel is a classy professional who handled adversity well but also handled said New York media very well. Another fact: when Manuel had a healthy team, which was for about 80 games in 2008 (before Billy Wagner's elbow turned into confetti), they played about 20 games over .500, so I don't get exactly where fans think Manuel is a bad manager. He won a division title in Chicago, was a former Manager of the Year, would have likely been one in 2008 had the Mets made it into postseason play. All of that though, doesn't matter to fans or media a like: the manager is a bum-get him out of town.

Could not be farther from the truth. Manuel has handled every grenade about as well as you can in New York, with one exception: winning enough. That is all it comes down to in this city is winning and winning big. Maybe fans don't care how you win anymore just as long as the ends justify the means. You don't win...we'll go find someone else.

As for Minaya, well perhaps this was coming as well. Overpaying for underperformed players, unable to solve staying away from guys with injuries, failing to sound competent throughout the whole Tony Bernazard fiasco last year...plus the lack of winning as well. However, another classy baseball man with a family, just like Manuel. Sadly, both of them are heading for the same bridge in New York. All sport fans know this bridge, call it the Unfinished Bridge.

The Unfinished Bridge always seems to look good, well built, functioning, and operating well. However, the bridge when you come to its end is unfinished, either by indifference, being torn town, or perhaps just never being committed to being finished. As mangers, coaches, and general managers drive along to the end of this bridge, they may or may not sense the bridge isn't completed and hit the brakes. Only the last part of the bridge is greased up, making the car skid out of control, spinning off to its unfinished end, and the driver and any passengers (family) suffer the end-the nadir of the Unfinished Bridge.

Most fans know that bridge exists, however nobody in the media wants to explain it. Why? Because it is an easy, easy, EASY mark for the media to help push the car further along to the end or in some cases, sabotage the brakes or even help tear the bridge down even more to help expedite the process. Nobody want to openly defend or support the Lame Ducks. Doing so is unimaginative or weak. It's easy to give someone the boot out than it is to give them you hand to be held up. Takes less effort, of course. That is why I felt compelled to talk about this...

Do I think that Manuel and Minaya deserve to keep their current roles in the Met organization? Of this, I am uncertain. I see how hard the Mets keep on playing at the end of this season, not giving in or going through the motions of a lost season. There is some promise on the horizon in the years to come with Ike Davis, Josh Thole, and some other young players who have played for just one major league manager in their tenure. I can see why letting of go of Jerry Manuel is the right decision. As a fan, you cannot be happy with losing. You can choose to be neutral and objective, but we aren't. Same goes for Minaya: 6 years, one playoff appearance, one historic collapse, one mini-collapse, and numerous questionable organization decisions but we forget that before Minaya arrived, the organization was rudderless: anyone forget the Howe/Duquette "we battled..." era...anyone? What, burned out of your brains? Thought so. So just remember what Minaya first made you feel like-we have a chance. You still might with him as your GM but again, understandable to see why he should not return.

Credit goes to maybe the best broadcast team in America: SNY's Gary Cohen, Ron Darling, and Keith Hernandez. Cohen addressed the issue on-air most of the same things I brought up and some more. They are great to listen to because I feel like they bring a true sense of clear and present objectivity. In Cohen's case, he was "puzzled" as to why this story was leaked. Darling called it "heinous" and questioned SNY and other network's coverage of lack of "personalizing" both Manuel and Minaya. Hernandez used "sensationalism" and said that it was created to buy papers and tune into talk radio, but Hernandez said that nothing has changed. Totally rational. And so was this line, which only was reported on the telecast. When a reporter asked Manuel what he would say to the next manager (which was probably the lowest shot you can take as a media member) to help him with the team to which Manuel said, "What are you doing here? This team is MY team" as Darling said over the telecast. May not exactly have been 100% accurate, but a great line by Manual. This is still his team until someone else tells him. Last night, Josh Thole won a ballgame for Jerry Manuel's team. Will he ever do it again is still a question that appears to already been answered.


Thomas Scherrer is a blogger who on occasion, makes sense. His regularly featured blog, "Bowling Philosophy" is available on the archive section on leftyism.blogspot.com.