Bowling Philosophy-September 2010

"The Czar Rules: Introduction and Article I"

by Thomas Scherrer

Preface
To all bowling executives: I am here to help bowling, not kill it. Not crush it nor deface the integrity of it. I am simply here to help both the sport and the business. I'd be a fool not acknowledge the business side of it, and I'd be totally discredited if I didn't try to help the sporting side of it. I am here to help all...now with that being said, you guys are killing me-absolutely killing me. Or should I say us, my fellow readers, expanding now to 12 countries (Guten Tag or Bonjour...Luxembourg!), and desperate for some attention and respect when it comes to bowling. We are going to 'suppose' something for this essay and make some rational and possibly irrational changes to bowling that will help all parties involved.

By the way...did you know that the country of Luxembourg is the only country in the world to still have a constitutional monarch, ruled by a Grand Duchy? It also has the highest Gross Domestic Product per capita not just in Europe, not just the Western Hemisphere, but planet Earth. I think there is symmetry here, but I digress...

Introduction
Suppose the Powers That Be in bowling decide to take a sabbatical and let me take charge of all bowling decisions. Full power of authority to make any changes I want to bowling with one simple condition: whatever changes I make stay with me until my term ends as Czar of Bowling (I woulda gone with Grand Duchy of Bowling but of course, people would laugh at that-Czar is fine). In the end, I have to be very, very careful with what changes I would make because yes, bowlers are a sensitive and at times cynical breed and this is with good reason: the bowling world has been treated at low-brow, low-rent, slapstick comedy for the masses, with a movie like "Kingpin" depicting us as out-of-shape, non-athletic, fried fish and chips, beer drinking human beings who bring down the culture of sports. The recreational side has been marginalized, taken for granted as being a consistent means of revenue with little to no track record to prove that, yet insiders think they can take a family of 4 for close to 60 dollars for a night of Cosmic/Xtreme/Glow bowling and not have it do any long-term damage, in particular in this society. The sport side has been dwarfed by golf, tennis, bass fishing, and auto racing; the recreational side has been taken for a cheap ride with little or no redeeming values. ENOUGH!!! You all deserve better...you need better...you will get better...you have a leader who believes!!!

(Trying to relax...calming down...Namaste, Thomas.)

OK, we're good. Let's get down to the basics of what I am trying to push for. Simply stated, I am trying to improve the quality of bowling for both the sport and business as well. Most of these changes are to benefit the lesser indivduals, not merely professionals. You have to start change from smaller villages to rebuild a nation, no? I am looking towards youths, families, and league bowlers in particular. Advance our way to amateur and college bowlers, then finally push some professional changes. I am pretty certain not all of my ideas or reforms will be universally be accepted, in fact, I encourage people to not like what I am writing. Yes, I want some dissenting opinion about what I am striving for. I'm a Czar, remember? I can have you sent to the gallows if I really think you are questioning my tactics.

Naturally, I would advocate 10 ideas of concepts under my reign that will have you look at bowling in more respectable terms. Along the way, we'll look to make some money because, after all, this is a business. However, we are going to start off with a bang and blow your bowling doors off. Center GM's and Proprietors: I unleash bowling hell!


Article I, section A: Kids Bowl Free...Period.

The Disease: In honor of my online writing idol, Bill Simmons: The Sports Guy, let's do a Hubie Brown imitation.

OK, you're a bowling center manager or owner, your early afternoons during the fall are pretty much dead. You are competing with activities such as football, soccer, and cross country in school. You also have this "underlying myth" that bowling is too expensive for kids to start up. What do ya do?

The remedy: Have kids bowl for free not just in the summer, but how about all year round? Here's a simple checklist of requirements:

• Ages 4-12 (Managers: if you dare charge kids under the age of 4 anyway, you are sinister and have little or no soul)
• Hold a B average for your grades in school
• Like to try bowling or want to try bowling

The Kids Bowl Free program that started in the summer of 2009 was wildly received by people and could only be considered a total success: kids got to bowl two free games each day during the summer and only had to pay for their shoes rentals (in the 3-4 dollar range) and food. Trust me, kids burn a TON of energy and will be hungry and they were. If we make this a year-round concept (same theory applies: kids bowl two free games each day during the afternoon hours when there are no leagues going on), bowling centers keep the goodwill going year-round, perhaps score some extra birthday parties, perhaps even discover some future youth bowlers and help expand your youth leagues. Who knows? You might find the next great young talent in your bowling alley and his cost of bowling games was exactly ZERO. Parents will win because their children are participating in a far less physical sport, such as football. Of course, Pop Warner football is nowhere near the violence of the NFL, but the possibility of freak injuries still exist at and level. Parents also win because you defray the cost of a sport, which we can all afford in this economy. Kids win because they are in a sport that, for the most part is easy to learn (much harder to master, but I'm the Czar of Bowling-I'll cover that in the future) and there are little to no weather issues that creep up. Finally, bowling in general win because their participation grows, number of games go up, and one would think with good promotion within, junior membership rises or at least levels out instead of continually dropping.

Article I, section B: Kids in the free bowling program rent shoes for $1.

Please, enough of this overcharging of kids shoe rentals. A dollar will do: now they are only spending one buck to learn how to bowl. Part of me would like to think Johnny Petraglia only laid down a few bills in his young days in Staten Island to work on his game and become a Hall of Famer, so why can't we go back in time and try to do the same? Chances are, parents will walk into the center's pro shop and fork over the $30 needed to buy their child their own bowling shoes. Now kids are really bowling for free! I love it, don't you? If you don't having their own shoes means probably their own bowling ball, then their own bowling bag. Your pro shop will love the extra business. It is also more likely to get kids bowling in leagues when they are well prepared and don't have to wear ill-fitting shoes or throw an ill-fitting ball. Once one kid joins up, they might be able to convince their friends to join them in a junior league. The vision of Saturday mornings returning to 30 lanes with 4 junior leagues rolling, including youth coordinators helping out, brings us all back to a better day in bowling. Full bowling centers all morning, and with the night bowling with all of its bells and whistles guarantees you an easy 5 digit day in revenue for about 40 of the 52 weeks.

Article I, section C: A dollar menu for kids in the program as well.

I am probably killing center managers for all of these changes but, damn it, why not? A dollar for shoes as well as small fries, small soda, slice of pizza, small popcorn, and any other reasonable deal from the snackbar. Fast food joints have dollar menu value meals, and they poison human beings, almost literally. Bowling alley food is not exactly going organic but you figure kids will burn it off and at a reduced rate. A bowling center probably won't lose much profit, in fact, you get your produce out of your center so you make something off your purchase order. In an unrelated, yet important idea, I suggest center managers invest in looking more at your local 10 day forecast. If you know there is rain forecasted for 2 days next week, you could order up on food, forecasting a higher volume of people during the summer. I would also bet that your snackbar associates wouldn't mind the extra business and therefore, extra hours. Nothing like a 16 year old having extra cash to blow at the mall for shoes, jewelry, fake tans, and Patron shots. OK maybe not the last one but I'm a man of the commoner...

Why it works? Every reason I just proposed along with the renewed sense that your bowling alley is the place to be in town. Of course, the main attraction is a center manager would have to promote the hell out of what their place brings.

Why won't it work? Three dirty, little letters: RPG, or Revenue Per Game. In the bowling industry, RPG is what currently drives bowling to the heights of unreasonable spending limits of a modern family. We need an example...

Suppose there was no such thing as Kids Bowl Free and a family of 4-2 kids, 2 adults-decide to bowl 2 games on a Tuesday afternoon in October. Shoes are $3.25 per child, $4 for adults, and games are $4 per person/game:

2x $3.25=$6.50
2x $4.00=$8.00
8x $4.00=$32.00

Total is $46.50 which when you divide it by the 8 games bowled comes out to an RPG of 5.81.

Now let's take the same family with both kids in the KBF program and look at the numbers:

2x $1.00=$2.00
2x $4.00=$8.00
4 free games=$0
4x $4.00=$16.00

Total is now $28.00 and when you divide the 8 games bowled comes out to an RPG of 3.50.

First of all, you notice the over $2 difference in RPG, but the second thing you see is that second scenario has the family of 4 is bowling for a 40% reduced rate. How often or where in American society nowadays can you say that you get that type of a deal for a family activity? The answer is NEVER!!! Plus, you now factor in that with almost 20 dollars saved up, the family can get a full taste of the bowling center. Snackbar, arcade, pro shop, you name it. Buying a pizza at $12 bucks for that second family brings the total up to $40 and turns the RPG to a 5.00, which makes managers smile more. Maybe a family decides bowling is something they can all enjoy and enroll themselves in an adult/junior league or maybe decide it is worth coming to bowl 2 days a week instead of one. Now you've really won a chance to establish two things: customer service and familiarity. Another added benefit is most bowling alleys offer birthday parties or corporate events. If you happen to bowl in any leagues, there is a possible discount in the works for yourself of your child's party.

As Czar of bowling, I would quickly erase RPG from the bowling lexicon and replace it with LUPH, or Lanes Used Per Hour. This shows a greater reflection of how busy your bowling center is during all times of a day. Volume and Value ultimately over Revenue and Regeneration of new bowlers.

Overall, a major success if used right, possibly the KBF program spawns one great bowler each year; suddenly, each local bowling center has a rising new star to carry a bowling center's value going forward.

The Czar has spoken! Au Revoir or Auf Wiedersehen...Luxembourg.


Pour ceux-la avec un amour et une connaissance pour le bowling...this Joue aux boules Philsophie. Namaste.

Fur die mit einer Liebe und Kenntnis fur Keglen...this Keglet Philosophie. Namaste.