"Bowling Blind"-The Exteme Swing

Etonic Marathon Open

For all fellow readers who were waiting for my predictions on the Etonic Marathon Open last week, I apologize for my computer's strange tendency not to upload this page and thus providing anything relevant rather well...irrelevant. So without further ado, I give you a little subtitled list I like to call "26.2 Reasons to Love the EMO":

1: Welcome back David Ryan!!! Even if it was for one week, Ryan's return to the sport that helped catapult his career to such accomplishments as Little League Baseball, D-3 football, and some strange version of Japanese military training was a great sight for the bowling fans in need of a Rob Stone Vacation. For the record, Mr. Stone now has four children and he looks like he is about 28...either he ages well or he's got some powerful pelvic muscles, but I digress.

2: Woodland Bowl: easily one of the top 5 bowling centers in the country, without a shadow of a doubt. Think about the last 10 days of bowling contested at the Woody: the Hoosier Classic with close to 80 collegiate teams and a waiting list to boot last weekend, followed by 54 games over 5 days of professional bowling this past week.

3: The city of Indy itself is a fantastic city to visit (just not in the middle of a Nor'Easter) with some great history with race car driving and bowling.

4: Those odd looking lime green tinted sunglasses Pete Weber was donning on Sunday in his latest defeat to a young player that he more or less helped cultivate from a style standpoint.

5: Five players on the "plus" side of power revolutions making the show in Bill O'Neill, Chris Barnes, Ronnie Russell, Weber, and Wes Malott (yes, we'll get into alllll of them shortly).

6: Barnes' opening 6 bagger while rolling 3 10 pin messenger strikes. His opponent, O'Neill just threw his towel in disgust over his head almost feigning defeat.

7: O'Neill's answering 6 bagger to end that match and force Chris Barnes to strike on the first shot in the 10th (which I would bet dollars to pesos that 7 out of every 10 people watching the show knew he wasn't going to strike on that first ball andohbytheway...he didn't).

8: BLUE!!! The Colts mascot in attendance. Thank God he got away from Peyton Manning, who is still waiting for that possession in overtime against the Chargers.

9: Nine games times 6 patterns equals 54 games of bowling with no match play at all. PBA execs: embrace this format except add a tweak to it next time for the fans. Get the final four bowlers on TV and have them bowl 3 matches each and find out who actually should have won this. Of course, if you asked Malott, he probably should have won it and did anyway.

10: The pesky 10 pin for Pete Weber cost him the match. Wrong ball choice to say the very least in contrast to what happened last week where Weber only had two balls to choose from and was going....plack 10 of all things last week.

11: Eleven titles was in the front row in Hall of Famer David Ozio, the master of the gutter shot and now the GM of Etonic Worldwide. Etonic could not have found a better figurehead than a true pro, a self made HOF'er and one of the great action bowlers ever. Did I say action??? I meant late night practice...not action, no no no....

12: Ronnie Russell's climb to the Big Wood Tour this season. Missed the first 7 events of the season and is in the cut line with 4 tournament left. Chances are he is going to survive another year and he has bowled one third less tournaments than most other exempt pros.

13: Patrick Healey's strange story. Russell got back on the tour due to Healey's inactivity this season and anyone that I trust in bowling circles has absolutely no idea what is wrong with Healey or what he has been up to in the last two years.

14: Xtra Frame's free 7 day trial...but you must put down a credit card to apply to the free trial. Warning: if anyone elects to get the free trial you must cancel subscription immediately or you will be billed for it after the 7 day trial. Caveat Emptor.

15: "Whoa...Nellie!" Dave Ryan's call for O'Neill's washout in the 7th frame of the second match against Russell.

16: The wide, wide, WIDE pocket Russell had for 2 games and then it went adios in the title match.

17: The open format this week got some unknown names close to the show in Edward VanDaniker Jr. and the ever growing push for Jason Belmonte who finished 11th. Clearly the multiple lane conditions and longer formats have helped certain bowlers and you are starting to see a trend with certain players in these super long formats. Guys like Walter Ray and PA are always close. O'Neill and Malott have thrived in these formats but Richie Allen always keeps sneaking up in these big formats as well. Take a much closer look at the THB's finishes in these formats exceeding 45 games and you'll be surprised.

18: "Sixty feet...to success!!!"
YES!!! Thank you Dave.

19: No Hambones this week. As I said, it was nice to have a week off from that yet the Stone machine has taken off. Even with him telling fans in Indy he would not be there this week, fans still littered the TV audience with Hambone signs. Rob Stone continues to get over with fans.

20: So do these funk Gemini Shirts. Ronnie Russell wore a bubble shirt for all I could guess on the show. Coupled with the Billy Johnson shoes (his nickname was "White Shoes" for all teenagers who have no idea who I was talking about), he was one strange looking leprechaun.

21: What does PDW stand for? Peter David Weber...I never knew. His theme song for the shows while he is striking is Motorhead's "Time to Play the Game". Yes folks, only on "Bowling Blind" can you get a cross between Lemmy, PDW, and Triple H and make it work smoothly.

22: How generous is this Scorpion pattern to pros? Its length of 42 feet coupled with the PTA (Predominant Track Area) made the lanes play more like your ordinary house shot only with slower ball speed. Think about how many shots Sunday did not hit the pocket and you might be able to count it on one hand.

23: How good are Weber and Barnes in these last 4 weeks? They have both made three out of the last four shows, and the same event, and with totally different formats behind it. They go from reactive to plastic then back to reactive. If you couple Pete Weber's top 10 at the Masters, Weber in the last 4 weeks has bowled 46, 40, 35, and 55 games and he is 46 years old bowling on two flatter patterns, a modified Cheetah with plastic balls and then bowling through 6 different patterns.

24: Why not the same dap for Barnes? Lemme think....oh yes, because no matter how much you want to root for Chris Barnes, he constantly lets you down when the pressure is on. Barnes had a 48 pin lead through six frames and somehow ended up losing by 19 pins...a 67 pin turnaround. He constantly frustrates fans that come to see him run over players at this level because most fans and most pros readily agree that no one in this game has more tools or trick than Barnes yet he continues to let something plague him when Sunday comes. Dean Hintz can't help him, Lynda Barnes can't help him, not even his kids can help him. Chris Barnes can only help Chris Barnes just as much as the only thing stopping Chris Barnes is Chris Barnes.

25: The winner: Wes Malott. Glad to see his "week of rest" was good for him.

26: Oh, I'm not done. I congratulate Malott on his win.

"Yeah, But..."

He changed his story. Two weeks ago, he basically dismissed the tournament as not being fair in saying that you should not take the technology out of the players hands. Then he proceeds to win the tournament rather comfortably and during the process was calling out PTI's Mike Wilbon about his comments about him hiding from it because he didn't think he could win. Malott's response was that he needed a week off on the show...we like to call that in the media as Covering Your Own Ass.

Personally, Malott's mouth has done more for me to dislike him this year more than anything else. He did not accept the first mixed championship pattern on TV, and then he railroads the tour for electing to take technology out of the players hands. It seemed like Malott got sensitive toward the issue and elected to tell "his side of the story" just a week too late.


And oh, the .2: The Don Johson Buckeye State Eliminator might be the most intriguing show of the season because for the first time in PBA history, bowlers will be bowling with each other in 4 4-man pods basing winners and survivors on total pinfall. The show will condense it to one game for the final pod until there is a winner. This might be the most politically charged tournament ever because bowlers will have to trust their other group members (or at least one) to advance to the finals and then the finals would be no different. Expect this to be Survivor: Columbus. Just no live scorpions to digest.


Leftyism's email is Senordoscien527@aol.com for further questioning.