12:55 pm: Like the intro folks?? I built up nothing...ESPN cut away to Norm Duke throwing a practice shot with those new PBA pro shirts. Looks like he should be in a NASCAR pit crew.
12:58 pm: Duke in a commerical looking like a hippie throwing a peace ball up 7...high flush.
1:01 pm: New music...new graphics...same game. Rob Stone is back looking sharp and the crowd certainly has its "HAMBONE" signs ready to go.
1:03 pm: Randy Pedersen is looking sharp again...has he been on the nutra system plan?
1:05 pm: Rash-Duke is match one...Rash is first up...BALK! Apparently Chris Barnes has taught him well...but Rash recovers and strikes. Duke comes back playing up the 1 board and strikes...what else is new?
1:07 pm: Rash balks again...if this were baseball, Duke would have scored two runs already.
1:10 pm: 100th show for Duke and about 100,000 Marlboro Reds later...he keeps on truckin'. Rash balked again for the 3rd time...he is lost $1,100 dollars already. He may actually lose money on this show the way he's going. Bob Davidson is having a field day somewhere.
1:13 pm: No Hambone...Rob Stone's publicist is looking to jump out a window.
1:16 pm: Geico...'so easy, a caveman could do it." Ladies and gentlemen..the saviors of bowling: Tom Clark and Fred Schreyer...not only are they leaders of the premature balding club, but they are clients as well.
1:18 pm: Rash leaves the 7-10 and then promptly hits the 10 pin and flies it back into the pin deck but does not get the 7 out. For his next shot...BALK! But he recovers and strikes in the 7th frame.
1:22 pm: Again...a stop by Rash in the 9th. Strikes again...makes him 5 for 5 on striking after a stop.
1:25 pm: 1...2...3 strikes from Duke in the 10th. Rash needs to strike out to tie. Rash gets ready...and stops again. He is donating to the Jimmy Fund today it would seem.
1:26 pm: Rash goes stone 9 pin to lose his first match in his career on TV. To recap Sean Rash's day: 6 balks, 7 strikes, one 7-10 split, one near made 7-10 split and about $2,100 shorter in the wallet after having 6 shot clock violations. Duke wins and advances to the finals.
1:30 pm: For the Big Wood Tour's 50th season, they are bringing back some of the game's greats for interviews. This week, they bring back Nelson "Bo" Burton, Jr. for an interview in between matches. Mr. Burton is truly one of the all-time great ambassadors for bowling there is. He and Chris Skenkel were the true pioneers for televising bowling. The tour also is doing their top 50 bowlers in PBA history. Burton is featuring #46 on that list: Gary Dickinson, 8 time champion and a former US Open champion.
1:37 pm: The old title sponsor of the tour: Denny's. Where real heart attacks happen...
1:38 pm: Match number 2 is Steve Jaros versus Chris Barnes. Barnes the reigning POY as you know by reading my blogs and Jaros both wearing their Pit Crew uniforms.
1:40 pm: Chris Barnes starts out wayyyy in...in front of the ball return on the right lane. The master tactician has 9 spare, 9 spare to start. This match will not have the same type of feel as the first match did.
1:42 pm: Jaros with his GEICO spare ball, Steve would like to think GEICO, 3G shoes, Global 900, Vise grips, the PBA tour, and his twins for sponsoring him this season.
1:45: No strikes so far. Both players look absolutely lost early. Norm Duke cannot wait to finish his 3rd Red of the match to finish one of these guys off. Quick cut of Chris' wife, Lynda (the better of the husband-wife). Note: Chris proposed to Lynda at a bowling alley...yea, if I do that you can basically cut my man region off.
1:48 pm: Finally....the strike HAS COME BACK....to the World Championship.
1:49 pm: Double for Barnes with a can opener strike. Then proceeds to do the single most obnoxious thing on tour: go over to his twin sons and give them a high five. If this scene has not played out over and over in fans' minds each of the last 3 seasons. Look, I root for Chris...I truly do, but he should have the audacity to just run over every player in his way and not worry about giving his kids a high five. They will not knock ten pins over but he's a good family man so I should shut up.
1:53: I forgot Jaros is throwing an AMF ball...sorry, AMF. Gotta give dap to them as well for sponsoring Jaros.
1:55 pm: Barnes' shirt is more symbolic of a bike racer's shirt so at least it's not as bad as the one Jaros and Duke have on.
1:59 pm: Barnes needs all 3 in the 10 to shut out Jaros...there's 1...there's 2...AND 3! Barnes locks out Jaros...you have no idea how hard that is on a condition like that to fire 3 in the 10th for the win. Chris takes the time to throw up a WSU Shocker cap...lame.
2:02 pm: Bowling fans get what they want: Duke-Barnes...but first a word from Cialis.
2:05 pm: Historical matchup scenario: Duke wins it would be his 3rd consecutive major victory-the first in tour history to do so. Barnes wins it he would win bowling's "Triple Crown" (WC/US Open/TOC). The winner also get to do donuts on the infield with their new racing shirts.
2:09 pm: Barnes starts off the title match playing wayyy out to start. Goes half 10 to start. Duke steps up, same line, same release, same result for him-strike!
2:12 pm: Barnes whiffs the head pin in the 2nd frame. Randy Pedersen hates to question Barnes' moves but its suspect to say the least especially when he looked like he was coming on from deep inside...never did though. He only used the term 'second guess'. This is where I wish Pedersen would get away from being 'Randy the bowler' Pedersen and be 'Randy the analyst' Pedersen. Not Johnny Miller-like but critical enough to where he might actually generate some heat on the show.
2:13 pm: Hambone watch...DUUKKKKEEEE....HAMBONE!!! Shoot me now, devil! Take me home, Lord!
2:16 pm: What to do Chris Barnes? Continues to play out and strikes with the bank shot off the rail. New observation: they are playing music in between shots.
2:18 pm: Barnes inexcusably misses the 4 pin in the 5th frame. Norm Duke is up by 50...dig the grave now.
2:19 pm: Duke now have 5 in a row...cue up some Styx for DUUUKKKEEEE!!!
2:20 pm: Barnes strikes and gives you the stupid Buzz Lightyear smile afterward. Again, Chris Barnes promptly shot himself in the foot then the chest and then finally the head.
2:22 pm: The 300 watch is on right now...7 bagger for Duke. DAMN IT THOMAS!!!! Ring 10...I jinxed him. Well not really, Duke missed in with more speed and his ball just went through the pins too fast.
2:23 pm: Barnes moves back inside...doubles. Figures.
2:25 pm: Duke moves way in on his fill shot and strikes...he's incredible! Simply incredible.
2:27 pm: Duke picks up the Eddie Elias trophy (wow, they shrunk the damn thing!) and defends his World Championship and in the process wins his 3rd consecutive major and the 6th major of his career. Barnes once again completely out thought himself in losing.
2:30 pm: Randy and Norm talk on the floor. When you analyze Norm Duke's career, there has never been a more popular player since Earl Anthony. He is loved for his diminutive stature, his elf ears, his penchant for crying after winning...all of that, he is truly one the greatest players ever to bowl. Chris Barnes on the other hand goes home without the Triple Crown and another show where 'the great tactician' screwed himself.
I am not sure if I will be doing this every week for the Big Wood Tour but I will certainly try and do this during all the major events this season...anyway, have a good week people we'll talk later!
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