Bowling Philosophy-July 2012

The Real Worst Day in Bowling
By Thomas Scherrer

My brethren that I have spoken with in the aftermath of the 2012 US Women's Open final in Reno was one of common agreement: not the worst thing I've ever seen...not as bad as everyone made it out to be...stuff happens-deal with it.  And you know what? I agree.  The reason?  I have seen worse.  I have seen greater farces in bowling televised history.  I hated to blog right after such a controversial event because the more controversy, the more likely one is to bandy themselves in a knee-jerk reaction that may come back to bite them in the ass.  With that being said, I waited, waited, and waited some more and after the warming, what rose from the ashes was this: many called it a farce.  One notable example came from noted reader Steve's Bowling Blog.


Appropriate responses by two of the finalists-Shannon O'Keefe and Stefanie Nation-followed saying that it was a privilege to bowl.  Privileges aside, what the 5 women did on that blustery evening in Reno was handle it very, very well.  They saw the dust accumulation as well as feel the gusts on wind and knew that they were truly in for a brand new ballgame, and shockingly it seems to most, they acted accordingly.  Changing up from reactive resin to polyester bowling balls in an attempt to at least temper what they were seeing, the ladies held their own again Mother Nature and, perhaps, poor decision making by the BPAA.  So what?  We've seen dumber concepts by organizations in their attempt to promote their sporting event, so did some gusts and sand devalue what I saw?  Nope.  Anyone who has ever bowled...say...the Petersen Classic in Chicago would tell you so.  Yet, thousands of people bowl it.  There is $20,000 to the winner and most of the time, averaging 190 will get you to the big pay window.  Of course, the only stated objection is that anyone who bowls "The Pete" knows exactly what they are getting themselves in for.  Duly noted.  But two questions remain that would have been excellent to have seen that night.  First, how would the guys have done given the exact same circumstance and second, how would a left-handed bowler handled it?  


My responses: first, the guys would have handled is miserably.  Why?  Because us men are idiots.  We are macho, pigheaded, stubborn, and above all else, macho again.  All the guys would have stood way left, flung it right, and hoped that resin would be the trick.  Would that have worked?  I'm guessing no because of the wind mostly.  Any gust would have pushed the ball to the left immediately and created even more overall hook, further providing mayhem for the XY gender.  The ladies conceded that resin wasn't working with the environment and went to polyester as a means to at least save themselves from missing the headpin left.  Secondly, for a left handed bowler, I would have argued either way but given the fact that they knew the wind was pushing everything left and the sand was creating early friction, they might have checked down to more skid-snappy equipment or may have gone in the other direction with heavily sanded equipment to counteract the wind pushing the ball away from the pocket.  Sadly, we did not get to see the likes of a Shannon Pluhowsky bowl because, after all, nobody wants to see a lady with short cropped hair, no makeup or earrings, or a hint of a smile who happens to be the second best female player on the planet and gives you a world class performance every time she bowls without saying much at all.  (Crap...that was supposed to be edited by the USBC or BPAA for quality assurance, lucky for me, they forgot to proofread that last line).


Now...as for convoluted arguments that have bearing, I'll make this short and simple.  The worst telecast of all time was certainly not the 2012 US Women's Open or the 2011 US Women's Open (the one where Kelly Kulick leads by 500 pins, then has to bowl at Cowboys Stadium only to lose to Leanne Hulsenberg who made shooting a 10 look like Bobby Parnell in the late innings of a Met game.  Let's agree and say the bowling gods gave her this one back), or any PBA telecast from the late 1980's.  For those with any semblance of history, the late 80's telecasts were low scoring due to the affect the brand new TV lights had on oil patterns.  Go back and watch the '88 Showboat and witness Hall of Famer Amleto Monacelli.  One of the great pure power players of all time and one of the 3 greatest athletes to ever bowl, resorted to a straight ball and relied on high pincount and spares to win the tournament.  A true testament to his legendary career.

If you know me well, I'm going someplace dark.  I'm going someplace desolate.  I'm going someplace some relive as historic.  April 6, 1996.  Erie, Pennsylvania.  The Day Bowling Died.  If you have ever watched the arena finals of the 1996 Flagship Open, you witnessed either the single greatest bowling performance in history or the single greatest debauchery of bowling in history.  On the telecast, Erie native Bob Learn Jr. fired the 10th televised perfect game in PBA history over the man who shot the 9th in HOFer Johnny Petraglia (worth noting, Rags shot his perfecto in the 1994 PBA National Championship-a major).  Petraglia shot 279 in defeat.  Learn would then go on to beat his next 3 challengers (John Mazza, Parker Bohn III, and Randy Pedersen) with games of 270, 280, and a clinching 279.  Mazza shot 268 and lost.  Bohn lost 280-279, but was royally screwed with Learn whiffed a 10 pin due to fan distraction.  In a sport where you are usually surrounded by one of the loudest noises in all of sports, which is bowling balls hitting pins, the "distraction rule" is bogus (go ask Cara Honeychurch about noise in a tournament) and allowed Learn to sneak out a win.  It should be noted that Learn did strike out in the 10th against Bohn to take the match, but had the missed 10 pin stood up, he would have lost.  Let's just say Bohn was robbed by home cooking to really lather up the Bob Learn Fan Club.  Pedersen only shot 257, which was only 17 pins higher than his 42 game average but whatever, Pedersen was a hack as a bowler.  Wait, he's a Hall of Famer?  Mazza was one of the more underrated players of the 90's?  Bohn and Petraglia are only two of the 5 greatest lefties ever?  Is Learn also a Hall of Famer.  The answers are yes, yes, yes, and not just no...hell, no.  

For the day, the 5 bowlers averaged 276.50 while Learn averaged 282.25.  His 3 game series of 850 and 4 game series of 1,129 on TV broke the previous records of 812 and 1,070, set by Jim Stefanich and David Ozio (two more HOFers), which brings us to this endnote for me: I watched the '96 Flagship Open on tape.  I watched one man defeat 3 Hall of Fame players and break the records of 2 more.  Learn has 5 titles and a US Open on his resume.  He is a well-respected USBC Certified Coach and was the runner-up to Walter Ray Williams Jr. in the 1996 Player of the Year race, so his peers deemed that one day and his season worthy of bowling's highest annual honor (or it might be that some players wanted to stick it to that ninny, Walter Ray which should be reason #138 why we need to blow up the POY award).  This is by no means a dump on Learn's career, but he was fortunate to be in the right place at the right time, got a favorable decision in the middle of a game, bowled on unquestionably, the softest PBA condition ever laid out on television, and for worse, established the worst possible paradigm for bowling that the sport is still paying for over 16 years later.  

Since the Flagship Open was considered a big time PBA event in 1996, I'm pretty sure a lot of bowling center managers and proprietors were tuning in and bore witness to the outrageous scoring pace of the PBA stars and the light went off: maybe we can do this to attract higher scores and more bowlers.  So let it be written and let it be done, as it says in the Old Testament.  All we see now are outrageous scores and unrealistic averages being put up year in and year out, but we've also seen more bowlers leave as a result of it.  While we cannot fully blame what happened that fateful day to today's bowling environment, the seeds may have been planted that day for the road we have traveled on.  Coupled with the past generation of the PBA being dropped by ABC, failing on CBS, surviving on ESPN, thriving on Tuesday nights, struggling on Sunday afternoons, taped shows, cutesy highlight packages, dwindling membership, lackluster prize funds, and an overall lack of national exposure or respect, we do have a starting point.  Was the 2012 Women's US Open the worst telecast in bowling history?  Not even close.  In fact, check back with me in another 15 years.  It might have been the greatest telecast in bowling history.

For those with a love and knowledge for the Sport of Bowling...this IS Bowling Philosophy.  Namaste.