Bowling Philosophy-June 2011

PBA Tour-"Who's Really the Bitch?"
by Thomas Scherrer

     If one is an accident, then two is a trend.

     If you totally understand bowling, you know it is a true contest between yourself and the pins.  One a living organism which some have the capacity to throw a bowling ball over 20 miles an hour and make it rotate up to 500 times a minute, all with dizzying and alarming accuracy.  The other, an in-adamant object, roughly 3 and a half pounds, formed in wood and surrounded by plastic some 60 feet away from the foul line.  It is a challenge enough to try and strike with other mitigating factors such as oil depletion, oil carrydown, differences in bowling styles, and outward distractions.  Yes, noise...and lots of it.  From the pins crashing to the sound of the machines whirring, noise is everywhere.  So naturally, when BottleGate II went viral with Sean Rash "bitching" out Jason Belmonte for crinkling his water bottle-again-on national television, the reaction was instantaneous.  We don't really know if was pure coincidence or timely gamesmanship (should Rash really care?  Plus I bowled with him in college-he made some pretty obnoxious screams and yells while in competition, so noise should not be a factor in his concentration), strategy or bad timing, or whatever ebony and ivory comparisons you choose to make.  

     But that isn't what I am writing about when I mean "one's an accident-two's a trend".  No, this is in reference to the Professional Bowlers' Association, the PBA, the supposed caretakers for the sport of professional bowling not only making this a) a selling point to drive audience viewership and b) build up the Rash-Belmonte "bitch" comments to a seemingly OK form of professionalism.  Did I watch it?  Of course I did.  Makes me shallow and pathetic?  Of course it does.  You wanna know why?  Because I bought into it.  I was literally forced into buying into it.  And yes, I hate myself for even clicking on it.  I became a prisoner to the moment of watching something that is rather vulgar and depressing to watch.  So yes, if you ask me what the real problem was, the real issue was how the PBA featured this as generating mainstream attention.

     If you care even a little bit about bowling, this should disturb you that the actual talent of both Belmonte and Rash were both compromised by this whole incident.  And that the PBA, pba.com, and bowling in general let this happen is what is more damning.  If you were professional bowling, wouldn't you elect to showcase these players in a more glorious light than this?  If you ever expect to generate a more casual fan base and keep your loyal fans in place, shouldn't you choose to show their creative talents on the lane instead of what they say or do off the lanes of after they bowl?  It personifies a cry for help: a desperate plea for someone to listen to bowling, somebody please listen to us!!!  We can't do it the old-fashioned way, we need to know that you all still care...

     I still care, just not about this.  Turns out, bowling fans might as well have been the "bitch"...again.

 For all bowling fans with a love and knowledge for the game, this IS Bowling Philosophy.  Namaste.

Bowling Philosophy-U. S. Open

PBA Tour-United States Open Live Diary


Live bowling?
U. S. Open?
Shot-by-shot diary?

Done, done and done!!!


6:25 PM: Whew...sorry folks, got in late due to some snow.  Did you know it snows in New England...a lot?  Anyway, we come into Mike J. Laneside talking to Tommy Jones just after his match play win over Norm Duke.  The PBA is doing an unprecedented 3 day, live coverage telecast featuring match play round 1 right now.  I'm so giddy right now...I need help.

6:29 PM: I bowl with USBC...for the torture!  Oh, and the Sport Bowling.  Cannot pass that up.  The only reason to be bowling if you good and wanna see your game improve.  

6:30 PM: Know the Wood time!  42 feet and flat, a slight change to past Opens where the pattern has been 40 feet, but it is the flatness.  As we see Pete Weber (sans shades) lofting the cap and striking.

6:33 PM: Cut to Bill O'Niell vs. Jones as Mike J. reports that Jones' left hip appears to be giving him trouble again on spares.  They are covering 4 matches at a time so this might be a little hard to keep track of.  As Jones projects the ball a mile in the air, Randy Pedersen reports that it is bone spurs that is afflicting Jones.  Rare injury to see for a player but probably not a shock to a bowler. Usually Jones only gets stopped by bad ball reaction or some other form of recreational activity.


6:36 PM: Jones vs. O'Neill, Duke vs. Belmo, Weber vs. Szczerbinski, and Shafer vs. Rash are the feature matches.  Hmm...all righties, 7 power strokers/crankers and Duke going right up 10, with no lefties in sight.


6:40 PM: Randy recalls the Wheelchair event that they had at Carolier Lanes in 1994 while Johnny Petraglia shot 300 at the PBA National Championship.  Top 10 PBA moment easily.


6:42 PM: Cut to an exasperated Weber and a cool and calm Belmo.  The facial expressions of these players just trying to make a good shot on this pattern is worth the price of admission, which is for me, free.


6:45 PM: Pedersen: "You can see the look of wear and tear on Norm Duke's face.  That is what this tournament does do you."  That, and for Norm, many nights of action bowling, tequila shots, and Malboro Reds.


6:47 PM: Uh-oh...bankruptcy liquidation sale at the DCU Center this weekend!  Now that's what I call a Public Service Announcement.


6:48 PM: Back to Jones whiffing the head pin shooting 200.  O'Neill needs only a mark...TRIP FOUR for the wheat!


6:49 PM: To lanes 23-24 and the Belmo-Duke match.  When Belmo hits the pocket, you ever wonder how the hell pins stand.  It is almost unreal.  


6:51 PM: Belmo gets 9 on his fill; Duke needs all 3 to win the match by a stick.  One down...


6:52 PM: Stubborn dime as the messenger fails to comply.  Shows you how tough this tournament is: Duke shoots 204 and threw one questionable shot in the match and still lost.


6:54 PM: Ahhh, Randy "Big Unit" Johnson...no explanation needed I suppose.  Glad to see the PBA trying to usher in an younger audience with a Just For Men commercial.  Although seeing the 'stache of Keith Hernandez is epic.


6:56 PM: Clip of Tommy Hess' Masters win, excellent win for Hess coupled with all of the emotion during the victory celebration. 


6:57 PM: Top 10: Duke, Jones, O'Neill, Belmo, Marcus Berndt, Shafer, Mika, Barnes, Danny Mac, and Brian Valenta.  Two two handers in the top 10.  Duke finishes off interview with Mike J. saying, "That's all you got?"  God Bless the Duke!  Hopefully, we'll do this again tomorrow night, folks!

Bowling Philosophy-October 2010

"The Czar Rules: Article II"

by Thomas Scherrer

In the past few weeks, the PBA has a) filled up its WSOB roster and b) made a highly asinine Dick Weber Playoffs. So glad to see that they took some of my advice about what I felt should be a reasonable PBA Playoff system back in July.

OK, so they actually didn't use anything I had suggested and I literally came up with something in the course of a week while doing other things like practicing, working, and making dinners while the future Dr. Peloquin was working 10 hour shifts at the pharmacy. Unlike PBA bigwigs who pretty much had all summer to come up with something worth watching at the end of the year to determine a more valid, clear, and concise PBA Player of the Year and they came up with something that appeared as if one of Parker Bohn III's kids came up with while drawing in the nursery. Actually, knowing the Bohn kids, they could have come up with something about a thousand percent better than the PBA came up with. It draws two serious red flags for me in a truly arcane-looking 2010-11 PBA season.

Red Flag #1: The tour season has over 20 telecasts on ESPN programming, but only 11 events. Wasn't this version of the PBA Tour supposed to offer more tournaments and better, more consistent prize funds? They are throwing more into the major telecasts which is a great sign of things to come, but are they totally mailing in the rest of the season? This is as big a stamp-licking, 41 cent, LeBron James in Cleveland mail in season as you will ever see in professional sports. It has got me outright worried that the PBA execs hope that they generate enough dramatic coverage with the majors that casual and hardcore fans alike will be crazy for more bowling. It is possible, but risky in a time where bowling must be cautious about risk.

Red Flag #2: Does the PBA even care about attempting to identify the best player in the sport as opposed to exposing all of its talent at once and hoping someone "gets over"? I know on the surface, this doesn't sound all too bad, however bowling truly needs a legitimate top dog. Right now, that parity of talent in bowling is truly alarming because we aren't sure if any player can handle the torch of professional bowling for the next decade. It could be Bill O'Neill, it could be Rhino Page, it could be Jason Belmonte, or Sean Rash, or Mike Fagan, or someone yet to come along. The truth is that I could not say will...I said could and could only. Again, with little safety net, that is a dangerous situation to be in.
The other hope perhaps is that with all the exposure of its players, someone comes along and draws heat for the sport. Someone who fans do not like or dislike strongly, almost acting in pro wrestling terms, "turning heel" on the crowd. Most fans have their favorite and their least favorite players and they hope that fewer telecasts featuring more players could offer more polarizing, differentiating views by fans. It has a shot to work, but the PBA will need someone on the lanes become that.

Back to the Czar rules and Article II for the month of October. Ah, October...leaves browning and falling, cool weather, windy, apple picking, pumpkin carving, wood chopping, and every kids favorite holiday: Halloween. Everyone dressing up in ghastly or provocative clothing, basically showing off their ego/superego/Id side for one night. Doing makeup, adding appendages, removing articles of clothing that on pretty much every night except Halloween could land you a night in your local jail for indecency, Halloween is a rule-breaking night in terms of dress codes...

Article II: Establishing a Dress Code
...Don't worry, so is bowling, and that, my friends is what they call CLOSURE. On a scale of 1 to 10 for importance in dress codes in bowling should rank out to be 783. This is depressing to see, and should be altered.

The Disease: For two years, I was a bowling center supervisor before my "sabbatical" and I was anywhere from appalled to Tyson Zone appalled at how people dressed for a league: sweats, cut off shirts, tanks/wife-beaters, backwards hats, stained t-shirts...translation: sloppy, goodness gracious, make the madness stop! Look, I totally understand the need for bowling in comfortable clothing and perhaps some people have a lucky bowling shirt they like to wear while pitching the pebble. I get that and respect that-hey, we are all creatures of habit, some of us even have routines or superstitions. Hell, Ryan Shafer has a thousand superstitions on tour. He wears his clothes in a certain order, he only picks up the bowling ball with his left hand (I highly advise picking a ball up with both hands for safety purposes but I won't be making a Czar Rule for that so let's just move on), and only uses bowling balls with either a 5 or an 8 in the serial number.

However, Mr. Shafer is a 4 time PBA champion, a millionaire, shot a 300 on TV, 1987 Rookie of the Year, and the 2008-09 Steve Nagy Sportsmanship winner....oh, he also dresses nice!!! Whew...yes, I know he is a pro but we all should seek to amend our wardrobe while we bowl.

The Solution: a reasonable dress code first and foremost for all league bowlers. For men, it should be a collared shirt and a nice pair of jeans at worst and for women, a nice shirt and slacks or pants. I am not advocating for everyone to come walking into their local bowling alley dressing up like Brian Voss in $400 pants, just show some pride in the sport you are actively participating in. If you think I am being an uptight pantywaist on this (for which I thank you, I'll be dressed up each time I bowl competitively), I make the reference to playing 9 holes on a municipal golf course as opposed to mini-golfing. The muni course will make you wear a polo shirt or crew neck shirt and pants, relaxing a bit on the type of pants or shorts. Mini-golf is easily more liberal, so much so that now you see people trying to put the golf ball into the windmill wearing flip-flops. Those wouldn't even be acceptable if you were playing every shot out a bunker at the muni course. And let's be honest, how could anyone chip out of the sand wearing rubber thongs on their feet? We've all been to the beach, you know how hard it is to walk in the sand with no ankle support. You either buck up and go barefoot despite the searing heat of the sand, or you bring sneakers for more traction. No more sprained ankles for me on sand, thank you.

If bowling is to seek acceptance more culturally, try to appease not to the lowest common denominator but to the greatest common factor. That factor being having people of good manners, good taste, and proper attire, along with a biding respect for the game. I am not asking for opera attire or what you'd wear to your quarterly meeting, but to be more appreciative of bowling and to give it some decency. It feels like a no doubt change to me. One more note of interest: for some reason, bad clothing or people walking into a bowling center looking like slobs further enhances the notion that bowling is primal or guttural or devoid of class. The czar has spoken for this rule...people, dress more appropriately!

Bowling Philosophy-March 2010

Time Stands Still
by Thomas Scherrer

By all accounts, the PBA Tour's 2009-10 season has been marked by the "WOW!" factor in terms of storylines and drama-filled events. In a season where we have seen laid-off auto workers (Thomas Smallwood) to can't miss talents (Bill O'Neill) to PTQ qualifiers (Anthony LaCaze) to ladies (Kelly Kulick) winning PBA titles, the WOW! factor appeared to be run dry of new stories in this crazy and curious PBA season.

Now...you can add amateurs to this list as well. On Sunday afternoon, Brian Ziesig of Levittown, NY lived a bowler's dream by winning his first professional title in the GEICO Mark Roth Plastic Ball Championship. The win for Ziesig, the first ever by a non-member in a standard PBA event, was made even sweeter, with the tournament emanating from AMF Babylon Lanes in Long Island. A proverbial home field advantage, Ziesig beat the iconic Walter Ray Williams Jr. and then two-handed phenom Jason Belmonte, with the latter coming in an electrifying title match where both players struck out late to force a 247-247 tie and then to sport's ultimate sudden death: a one-ball roll off. Belmonte's first and only offering left an absolutely devastating solid 7 pin. Ziesig stepped up needing a strike to claim victory and did just that, getting a friendly lean on the 10 pin to claim victory and literally tear the roof off of AMF Babylon Lanes (which some people in bowling wouldn't actually mind if all the roofs of AMF centers blew off).

Some might see the tomahawked 10 pin over Belmonte and rolling the 2-8 to beat Williams as signs of destiny from Ziesig, or perhaps some pure luck. However, Ziesig's bowling need no apology or excuses. One of the finest players Long Island has to offer, he earned this victory by putting on a tremendous performance all week long. In a week where technology went back to the future, so to speak by having each player use only two plastic bowling balls, Ziesig took on the game's best with about as much equity as you can get in bowling. Talent and skill won this tournament, as well as a solid 238.12 average, and the ability by Ziesig on television to easily be the most comfortable a person has been on TV all year by anybody bowling. Jokes with Rob Stone and Randy Pedersen, not taking himself too seriously, stepping up in the title match against Belmonte needing all 3 strikes to force a roll off and then doing so like it was nothing more than a Thursday night at South Levittown Lanes. For all you knew, Ziesig could have been drinking a Coors Light (or 4) off the approach area: he looked that damn relaxed, it was eerie.

Personally, I can say I don't know Brian Ziesig well enough to call him a friend or a buddy, but I do know this about him: his bowling was never in question. This tournament win by no means validated who he was as a bowler or even as a person. That part of his legacy was always intact, however what Ziesig did for most of us who have watched him these past several years locally validated our dream. It was a win not just for him, but we all felt like we won Sunday. Of course, we cannot say that actually happened: Ziesig won, we cheered, we screamed, hell, part of a NEBA tournament in East Haven, CT where I was bowling, time stood still. Ziesig was the main attraction even though he was not in the bowling alley. He wasn't even in the same state!!! He was living out a dream most of us dare to dream when we are younger, but no longer can dream due to the real world. There are bills to pay, jobs to endure, kids to raise, and other to-do's in the world. But for Brian Ziesig, he made us forget about that: in an event where bowling went back in time, technologically speaking, time stood still figuratively. So what if we couldn't actually see Ziesig's winning shot (that's because everyone stood up in the building!!!), the crowd let us know; Randy and Rob let us know; and even our collective amateur hearts let us know. Brian Ziesig was a winner with or without this title, but this makes it all the more sweeter that for one week, Big Head was Big Man on bowling's campus for one week.

Other Tidbits on Bowling

• The 2009-10 season now has a serious dilemma on their hands. There is a good possibility that the Player of the Year race might actually be tied at season's end. As of right now, both Williams and O'Neill are tied with 56 points with one event left, the Marathon Open in Baltimore. While it makes for great drama to see if both The Real Deal and DeadEye make the televised finals, if neither make it, it does open up the reality that there could be a share of the POY...kinda, sorta.

• The tiebreaker for the POY race will be determined by the Harry Smith Point Leader list for which Williams leads right now. While it would be a fair and simple way to determine who should be the 09-10 POY, it once again presents a question as to who fans think is this season's best player. Yes, I've got a literal marathon blog coming up about this later on in the week.

• Has the Kulick Factor worn off? It seems as if Kelly Kulick's historic Tournament of Champions victory has passed through the media with scant attention. Yes, it got local media outlets, some TV interviews, and a brilliant Rick Reilly article on espn.com. It also got some heat from fanhouse.com's David Whitley that it cannot be seen as a legitimate sporting event because "if the best female in the world can beat the best male in the world, it doesn't qualify".

• Glad to see David Whitley has a job in sports. He has also railed all over NCAA women's bowling, for which he basically denounced it as being legit as well, figuring that while Whitley was looking for Vanderbilt's 2007 national championship, he "should have looked for a plate of golden nachos atop a silver pitcher of beer". No truth to the rumor that this clueless (I had another vulgar word in place of clueless) writer has actually attended one of Vanderbilt's two hour practice sessions or any of their workout's in the gym, but yeah, he's qualified to write about bowling just like I am qualified to write about health care reform.

• As for Vandy, they walk into the 2010 NCAA championships, once again as the prohibitive favorite to win the title. The last two seasons, things have not gone according to plan. Makes you wonder if a program that has thrived primarily on recruiting the best talent in high school and not actually developing players and creating roles for them has fallen behind the curve on teaching players to be better instead of trying to build a fantasy team. Sounds harsh? The results the past few have shown that talent alone doesn't win in a team sport. Yes, there will be more on this next week as well for April's Bowling Philosophy.

• Speaking of plastics, the Brockton County Bowling Association is having their second Hall of Fame Classic as Boston Bowl in Hanover, MA April 11th. The tournament consists of 3 games, 90% handicap of 230 average, with two separate blocks at 11am and 1pm. The format is eliminator style, half the field advances and so on until there is a winner. Players can only use plastic or rubber bowling balls for competition. This is more of a personal wish, but I wish there was more events like this where technology was not the sole factor in who wins tournaments but more on talent. The only way to make the game more equitable is to have flatter gutter-to-gutter patterns or make a rule enforcing not merely a rule on restricting technology but limiting it.

• To take this one step further, college bowling Tier One events in college only allow players the use of 5 bowling balls. I used to hate this rule when I bowled but now I understand the financial and logistical reasoning behind why Karl Nikolai instituted this rule. It also gives the game more of a sense that it takes lane play, strategy, ball speed regulation, and hand position changes to be good on top of having good team skills and communication as opposed to Bowler X is carrying all over the place and Bowler Y is not despite having more tools in their bag.

• On Mark Roth: we always talk about how great players are, but never how important they are/were. If this past week's GEICO Mark Roth Plastic Ball Championship was a reflection on how loved Roth was, then we should all be so lucky. As for his importance to the game of bowling, try these questions on for size: are there better players in bowling history than Mark Roth? Absolutely. Are there more important players in bowling history than Mark Roth? Who? WHO?
  

Tommy Scherrer is now back working in the bowling center, as well as a USBC Level One certified coach. He is also on the radio Wednesday nights from 7-8pm. Log onto audiojournal.net and click on the Listen Live link to listen to myself and Adam Durrance broadcast a recap of the Worcester Telegram and Gazette.