Bowling Philosophy-October 2011

"Divide and Prosper"
by Thomas Scherrer

Relegated (v.)
1. to move to a position of less authority, importance, ect.; demote
2. to demote to a lower division
3. to resign or refer to another of others, as for action or decision
4. to banish or exile
5. to assign to a particular group or category

In my early to mid-twenties, I listened to SNY analyst Keith "Mex" Hernandez often refer to poor teams in Major League Baseball as "going in the tank" or a "second division team".  Of course, MLB has no other or second division, just the minor leagues, and baseball has it's independent leagues across the country, as we all know.  Same goes for the NBA (as of right now, it doesn't even have a league-just a bunch of spoiled, locked out, greedy, uncooperative players and owners trying to divvy up the pie proportionately), the NHL, and the NFL.  If you stink, you stink, stank, stunk.  The only way you get better is by either hiring new personnel, drafting better, spending resources better, and so on.  The truth is, like all sports with the huge TV contracts, everyone gets an equal amount of the pie.  So, even if the Cleveland Cavs never appear on ESPN or ABC in a nationally televised game, they are still getting a check.  They can be 10-72 and they are still getting a percentage of the television revenue, split 30 ways.  The Miami Dolphins can tank for Andrew Luck this year, and know a) they got a shot at drafting a franchise quarterback for the next 15 years and b) they are getting 'x' amount of dollars from the national television deal.  They do not get relegated to the NBA D-League or the UFL, they are in their prospective leagues-period.

Luckily, the English Premier League of football does relegate and so should league bowling if they are to make the sport better.  Before I begin to tie it all in, the EPL goes under a pyramid structure of promotion and relegation in its leagues, and they are divided by the Premier League (1st division consisting of 20 teams), with the bottom 3 teams getting relegated to the Football League Championship (2nd division, 24 teams), where the 2nd division promotes the top two teams in the league to the Premier and teams 3-6 have a playoff to determine the third team to be promoted.  In the FLC, the bottom 4 get relegated again to the 3rd division or Football League One with more leagues underneath it (up to 9 leagues in fact), with promotion and relegation trickling down based by division.

All that being said, it allows all clubs, from the Red Army of Manchester United to the little pitch club of Sutton United the ability of promote themselves up to the highest level in English soccer.  Along with promotion comes the sponsorship and money.  The Premier League is known as the Barclays' Premier League, which brings a title sponsor, television deals not just in England but on ESPN in "the colonies" as well.

Which finally brings me to bowling at long last!  No disrespect to world's most popular sport, but I am not an expert on the game and its business.  I am, however, pretty well-versed in understanding the nature of league bowling: elite league bowling is driven by a) money and b) ego.  There is no c) for competition or d) for making the sport better-there just isn't.  That is nobody's fault (OK, I lied: we're actually all to blame for the current state of bowling and league play but hopefully, we can change that), but perhaps we can start to create a system similar to what the EPL has where teams are actually based in leagues solely off their performance and not off of their averages, or their prize funds.  With this, we have a combination of leagues that promote the top teams in lower divisions, and relegate the weaker teams.  Wednesday, I had a brief conversation with Chris Laythe during the Worcester County All-Star league, and we both agreed that there are certain teams that just did not belong in this league.  What type did belong, we never actually answered, but the question was there.  For those of you who don't know, the Worcester County All-Star league at AMF Auburn Lanes on Wednesday and the Thursday Knights league Thursday are 1 and 1a in the bowling center.  Which one is the top league is a matter of personal preference, but if go by sheer volume, Thursday Knights is the top league in the center and quite possibly in the area.  30 teams, 120 bowlers, names such as Dale, Gauvin, Cote, and Monroy head the marquee.  The WCAS has just 17 teams but comparably good talent, with regulars like LaBrie, Dee, Diamond, and yes, Peloquin (note: some bowler bowl in both leagues which creates another mess in itself).  The latter bowlers on both groups had input on this, and they went something like this:


Michelle (to me): you're gunna write about this, aren't you?
Me: sure, I think it's worth discussing.
Michelle: I gotta go throw another strike.


What Chris Monroy and I talked about went along the lines of a natural debate (via Facebook), that for purposes of editing and excluding all curses and grunts and stutters Monroy had went a little bit like this:




Me: So let's attempt to rectify this based on the system I'm attempting to create (yes, this whole conversation, with your permission, will be on my blog-I know my copyright laws).

Monroy: Feel free to quote me Tommy.

Me: If i were elected czar of bowling...which would be pretty cool..so let's assume we have 3 levels of league bowling. Level I, like I alluded to, the elite or premier league: min. average=220.  Open to 16-20 teams who can get their shit together. Top 75% of the league remains, bottom 25% gets relegated ESL-style to the 2nd division.  Oh, to make sure we're serious about this, your ratio on the lanes is at worst, 5:1. This will weed out the fakers and establish the true elite players.

Monroy: Perfect!  Agreed on lane conditions...needs to be legit: 5:1 or 4:1.

Me: OK, 2nd divison, those fakers can all bowl each other...how does 210-219 avg sound?

Monroy: Good idea.

Me: OK, same amount of teams 16-20, but the top 25% in the league gets promoted to the elite league, because they have deserved a chance to be there, the middle, 50% stays, the lower 25% get relegated to the 3rd division-you have to keep incentive in all leagues.

Monroy: How do we get people to want to move to the elite division?  Don't get me wrong.. LOVE the concept.

Me: OK, suppose the weekly dues are $25/week...let's say the lineage, secretary fees are $9, which leaves us with $16 for prize fund per bowler/week.  Start locally, keep it an indie thing.

Monroy: And how long is the season?

Me: Ah yes...the length.  I firmly believe that bowling leagues are TOO long-too many things happen in 36 weeks to bowlers.

Monroy: Might you want halves or even trimesters to allow upward movement?  Agreed especially in today's society! Maybe even quarters!

Me: You can do halves but let's shoot for this: 30 weeks.  First of all, makes every week really matter.  Second, guys who try to "dump" (bowl for lower scores in an effort to keep their handicap in leagues up), cannot. Finally, we give players 22 weeks off to practice, bowl summer leagues, relax, work on a B or C game, ect.

Monroy: Good idea...would you do a try out system for level determination?

Me: Absolutely...

Monroy: Love the idea.. a pre-league tryout!

Me: Right, you only need to do it one time of course, because after season one, the regulation/promotions take care of themselves.  Now...let's get to the money.

Monroy: Ah yes.. the cabbage, simolians, the tah dum ...good ole Mr.Green.

Me: I mentioned there would be $16/week/person leftover, times that by 80 bowlers. That is $1280 a week. Times it by 30 weeks and each league ponies up $38,400 for the season, times 3 leagues is $115,200.

Monroy: Are you suggesting that there is a HOUSE pool for league funds...not just a league by league prize pool?


Me: Sorta, I am lumping all 3 leagues in together.  Of course, this is just an example.  What if we put half of the money into the Elite League?

Monroy: A very interesting concept...so that would be the incentive to improve...you want more money...work hard to get into elite division!

Me:Now, you see it...half is over $57 grand, just for 20 teams!!!

Monroy: I love the concept! But it only works if there is no such thing as an unsanctioned league.

Me: Screw the USBC for a moment, if they were this effin original in their concepts, you (USBC) might not be in the shape you've been in.

Monroy: ABSOFUCKINGLOUTELY!!!

Me: OK, let's be blunt, if you win the Elite League, how much of that should be yours?  16 grand, 20 grand?  Puts an emphasis on winning, right? Also, the whole league makes their money back, bottom 4 make their money back while going down a notch and away from that guaranteed money, so let's establish that each team in the Elite League is guaranteed $3600 ($900/bowler).  OK, as for the other leagues, the top 4 in the 2nd division should get a similar bump in incentive so they too get $3600.

Monroy: I like it.

Me: We can appropriate money as we go down along the way, but it can be a sustainable model.

Monroy:So the concept is if you want to guarantee to not lose money.. get into the elite division.

Me:As for the lower level teams, they might not make their money back, but we can entice other incentives such as free games, lessons, bowling balls with pro shops, ect.

Monroy: Give them a reason to get into the bowling center and practice ...a great concept.  So they really don't lose in the end! It keeps them in the center which would make the BPAA happy.

Me: And here's the best thing, I'm gunna give 2nd and 3rd divisions their THS so they can establish what they feel is a satisfying average.  Pay some dues, right?

Monroy: But shouldn't there be a a standard condition so proper upward movement can be gauged?  Paying dues...a great concept...FROM THE PAST! lol and sarcasm noted I hope.

Me: Perhaps, but I'm taking this into consideration. I know I won't lose the 220+ guys because it's good money not to pass up.  I risk losing the 210-219 guys if I flatten 'em up.  But perhaps, I can do this: all position rounds, we make the lanes a bit tougher.

Monroy: Agreed...how would teams be picked in elite division or would it be singles?

Me: OK, I can safely say that you should be able to make your own team in the Elite League because I know what it is like to be given someone you don't wanna bowl with.

Monroy: So no cap. How would you avoid the Monday situation?  (In reference to the Monday Classic league that died out).

Me:I'm honestly not sure, Chris. You start pushing it, say...NOW?!?  Instead of July???

Monroy:Obviously the lack of cap coupled with a more demanding condition scared people off notwithstanding the money.

Me:I love Eric (Mahoney-GM at Auburn), but I could not believe that the concept for the league was only brought to my attention in July.  It is but I'm looking at it from a Utopian world where everyone would be in with this, but you have no way of knowing.




And that is where I ultimately come back to a few things: first, this is a totally Utopian idea because everyone is scared!  They are scared of change or anything that they didn't think of first.  Do I think a league like this can be structured and work for a long period of time?  Of course I do, but I am one person, not 10, or 20, or even 40.  Even if you chose to have each division be 10 teams, and do promotion/relegation with two teams instead of 4, I'm fine with that as well.  In fact, that might make more sense, given a sense that not every league would willingly go with this, and for purposes of this article, leagues that consider themselves a top league in their area.

Secondly, the money issue.  Yes, I am fully aware that no one like to lose money but the purpose of bowling is not to make your wallet fatter as much as it should be right now, making the game prosper to where a league like this could take off and top teams could make a decent amount of money.  Instead, most team meetings to begin a year are usually surrounded by old rules that have been in place for 2 or 3 decades.  The game has changed a lot in the last 15 years, making most rules before then obsolete.  Why shouldn't the Elite Division be a 70% handicap league, while the 2nd division is 80% and, 3rd 90%?  Because nobody is willing to stick their necks out and try it for a year.  Bowling is decaying right in front of us and no one cares to try something out of the box, even if you lose a few dollars along the way?  Sadly, that's the shape it is in right now.

Finally, the promotional aspect.  I do not, by any means criticize Eric Mahoney for what happened Monday night, only because it probably was a quickly thought out idea that he thought could work given he has some talented players in the area.  The truth is that most bowlers had their minds made up about leagues in the fall before the idea was even originated.  Given the current economic state of things, it is very difficult for people to justify picking up another league, no matter what type of player you are.  You make plans around your leagues, you make work schedules around your league, you spend time with you family around leagues as well.  Early and aggressive promotion will at least help build a league from the start to where you might sneak in a few extra teams looking to bowl.  The only way things get bigger and better is with innovation.

And I'm pretty sure what the answer will be...


For those who have a love and knowledge for the sport of bowling, This IS Bowling Philosophy...Namaste.